Freeze that Frame, Fill My Heart- Day 23 SOLSC

For years, I have been wanting to have my family videos that were on VHS C cassettes transferred over to video. Those were the very little video tapes that used to be used in video cameras in the early 2000s. These videos held the precious moments of my children’s infancy, toddlerhood and young childhood (about 5). We had not been able to look at these moments in years! So this January, I sent them off to have the conversion done.

On Thursday night, I received the link that shared all the videos now in digital format. There were 40 in all! I was beyond excited to start viewing these special moments.

So I clicked on the first one- bringing my son home from the hospital 23 years ago. Oh to see his little face cocooned inside that white, blue and pink hospital blanket melted my heart. Just seeing him that small again made my heart bloom with motherly love all over again.

Gentle tears were sliding down my cheeks while a tender smile played across my lips, when a moment on the video made me catch my breath. Sitting in my living room, holding my son was my mom. She passed away in 2006 so just seeing her move, smile and talk again flooded with me sadness, happiness, wishfulness all twisted together. Then the camera panned out a bit any my aunt and sister were in the frame. Seeing all 3 of these women at once was just stunning to me! (My aunt and sister both passed away from breast cancer- one in 2008 and 2010. ) The laughter and smiles tug at my heart because I know this is the only way I can see them again. I felt my heart pause like it couldn’t accept the flow of shock, love and grief in this moment.

These 3 women were so important in my life. They made me who I am today. I wish that I could freeze that frame and step right into it. I would sit down on the couch between my aunt and my sister while gazing at my mom. I would listen to the melody of their voices hoping to make it an earworm I would never forget. I would treasure this ordinary banter about being a new mom and having a brand new son. I would cherish being surrounded by three women who always offered me love, support and encouragement.

Those few unexpected moments on the screen gave so much to me. I knew the videos would offer cherished memories of my children and family life through the years. I just didn’t realize theses moments caught on camera would be able to bring loved ones back to life, if even for a moment. And that is a gift that will continue to fill my heart.