“Deck the halls”…with tearful smiles
“Just like the ones I used to know”…. bittersweet memories of Christmases past
“I’ll be home for Christmas”… oh Dad how I wish you could be
“My lights on the tree, I wish you could see”… hanging ornaments from my mom
“Through the years we’ll be together, if the fates allow”… not in our cards, big sis
“Where is the laughter you used to bring me”…. quiet empty-nester decorating
“Have a cup of cheer”… trying to boost my spirits
“A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices”… I will rejoice in His birth!
So this weekend, I began putting up the Christmas decorations. I had Christmas songs playing in the background. Then Faith Hill’s ” Where Are You Christmas” came through the speaker. Tears started to flow down my cheeks as I realized how many times Christmas has changed for me over the years. Losing my dad, losing my mom, losing my sister made each Christmas a little less jolly. Then empty-nesting changed it again with less busyness, laughter and fun in picking a tree. Now I was reminiscing about my kids’ childhoods with each ornament I placed on the tree without them being there. More sad/happy tears.
As the Christmas music kept playing, I realized for me that many didn’t make me feel festive. They made me feel sad and the words were bittersweet. In the poem above, the first part of each line is from a Christmas song and then second part is what I think about when I hear it. Here are the songs:
- Deck the Halls
- White Christmas
- I’ll Be Home for Christmas
- Merry Christmas Darling
- Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas
- Where Are You Christmas
- A Holly, Jolly Christmas
- O Holy Night
I will bounce back from this weekend. Each year I have a day or a few of not feeling the Christmas merriment. As Christmas and the days of my kids coming home draw near, my heart will be merrier. By Christmas, I will be ready to rejoice in the birth of Jesus and his joy will fill me. May you be filled with the joy from the heavens too.
Doodads and Doodles 
4 responses to “Navigating Christmas Emotions: From Sadness to Joy”
Thanks for sharing this. I think many people feel happy and sad during this time of year. I know I do. My father and I are estranged. He will be 99 in March. I’ve reached out to him many times and once again 2 weeks ago. I can’t make him love me or miss me. I will have to go on one more Christmas and make my own cheer. It helps to have faith in things beyond my scope of reasoning. God always has a plan.
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Yes God has a plan. I hope that you find cheer this Christmas.
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Oh, Cathy, my friend! Tears welled up in my eyes as I read. I feel the same way. Without the kids being home, I feel like I think more of the loss than the joy. Thank you for sharing.
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Hugs to you. I hope you find tiny treasures of joy sprinkled throughout each day of the season.
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