What I Wish You Knew

So today I was responding to a prompt- write a letter to your younger self. I struggled with what to write about. This idea wouldn’t leave my mind. Our culture doesn’t freely talk about death, loss and grief. I decided to put this out there as someone who has walked the grief journey. 3 big losses in my life really impacted the person I currently am. What is below is what flowed out of the pen. It is a bit heavy but also filled with hope at the end.

Dear Younger Me,

Yes, your innocent belief in forever

was shattered

at the age of 17

with the unexpected passing of your father.

Yes, your sense of home and security

disintegrated

at the age of 36

with your mother passing away without warning leaving you an orphan.

Yes, your confidence

crumbled

at the age of 39

when cancer stole your strongest cheerleader and confidante, your big sis.

Yes, you had many

great losses in your life

before the age of 40,

Yes, you WILL have many

blessings come your way

as your life continues on.

Yes, your heart overflows with love

for the man you met

at 18

and is now your husband of almost 30 years.

Yes, you rebuild a solid

sense of home and family

in your 30’s and beyond

for your 2 children.

Yes, you bolster

your inner strength and courage

by 50

and are more adventurous than ever before.

Yes, life has devastating lows

and grand high peaks.

You will traverse them all

carrying your backpack of survivorship.

Yes, you know you can walk

through a tumultuous valley

and rise again.

Yes, you will cherish the moments of ordinary life,

let those you love know it

and find as much joy as possible in this world.

Yes, you will be happy.

Yes, you will live with laughter and light.

Yes, you will have a life that you love.

Trust me, it happens. Have faith!

Lovingly,

Your Middle Aged Self